Nearly 45 years ago, Al Pacino knew his controversial 1980 film Cruising wouldn’t age well. In his new memoir Sonny Boy, the Oscar winner admitted he found the movie “exploitative” to the LGBTQ community upon its release,

I didn’t want to make it a p.r. stunt,” he explained. “I just wanted one positive thing to come out of that whole experience.”

Released in 1980, Cruising starred then-39-year-old Al as a police officer who went undercover at underground gay bars in New York to catch a serial killer suspected of killing gay men. It was directed by William Friedkin,